You sit, you stand, you stretch, you walk, you’re not actually sure which position you should be in.
You’re hungry but you don’t want to eat cause you’re scared the food will greet you again in a few minutes looking a bit gooey.
You love everybody, your life is ending, why doesn’t anybody understand you, you laugh, you cry – all in a matter of 30 seconds.
*Side note: this is meant for ladies only, but testosterone is welcome too.
Joy, it’s that time of the month. Some women can relate and some just don’t get it. When I was in primary school around 11-12 years of age, I just wanted to start my period, it felt like every other girl was on their period except me. I complained to my mother so many times asking her why I haven’t started my periods, as if she could jump-start them or something, and she’d tell me I’m still young. I wanted to buy pads and complain about period pains too.
Out of the blue on December the 24th, visiting in a rural part of Zimbabwe, I say to my mom, “there’s blood”, I was so happy! This was like a Christmas gift from heaven, it’s just awkward that my first pad was wrapped up tissue and cotton wool, but I didn’t care, I felt grown!
I started my period when I was 13 years old, I had no period pains at all for the first few years, until 2009 when I was 19. Out of nowhere I had cramps going from my lower abdomen to my back and I was like, who are you and where do you come from?! From that year I understood what period pains are and why people would skip school because of them. Those things are PAINFUL.
I get nausea, headaches, cramps etc, and I sometimes go through the weirdest emotions, I’ll cry cause of an advert, get angry cause the water wasn’t coming out right in the shower, be happy because it’s a beautiful day outside and expect everybody to understand me. It’s a bit mental really.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make straight your paths. – Prov 3:5-6 [ESV]
At that time I feel like it is the most normal thing, like why is the water not coming out properly, what is wrong with this shower, who made this shower, what is wrong with the world?! It escalates pretty quickly and after that emotion dies down and I have time to reflect on it, I wonder how water got me so angry?
This is something I feel as ladies we should prepare ourselves for. If you know that like me, you go through periods of unstable emotions, make ways to ensure as minimal damage as possible. It is during these times that you are prone to complain, nag, and just be that huge fly that doesn’t wanna get out the kitchen.
Do not lean on your own understanding – You may feel like it is perfectly reasonable to get angry and shout at your friend because she brought you grape flavoured gum instead of berry flavoured gum. Firstly, you need to understand that this is a temporary emotion, it will be gone in a few seconds, minutes or even hours. It is not wise to act on temporary emotions such as anger because you could say things you do not mean and hurt the person it is directed to. You could overreact and give undue punishment for something really small and many other things you may regret later on.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart – When emotions are running high – STOP. The temptation at this point is sky-high, everything in you will justify wrong actions to fulfill whatever desire you have in your heart. Say no and choose to trust in the Lord.
But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. – James 1:14-15 [ESV]
Yesterday night I just wanted to have a nice hot shower before going to bed, I go to the bathroom, leave the water on so it can get hot while preparing my stuff, a minute later I check on the water and it is ice-cold. I was so ready to go to my mom and shout at her for switching off the geyser, I was angry. Thank the Lord I remembered to just stop, calm down and think. I wanted to take a hot shower, nothing wrong with that, I wanted to take a hot shower NOW, something wrong with that. I felt I had the right to be angry, maybe nothing wrong with that, I felt like I could act any way I wanted because I was on my period and therefore she must understand, something wrong with that.
In the heat of the moment I was just thinking about now, after I stopped and thought, I could reason and think to go switch the geyser on and wait about an hour for the water to heat up. I wanted to shout at my mom cause she switched the geyser off, forgetting that she does that to save electricity which benefits us and Eskom – hopefully there’ll be less load shedding :’). The consequences of acting on that anger could have been anything from an uncessary fight to a killing of character.
Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. – Eph 4:26-27 [ESV]
Honestly, that time of the month is perfect conditions for the devil to reside. You feel justified in your actions because you’re hormonal – stop and leant not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge the Lord. The Lord created us, He knows what we go through, He does not tempt us but He does equip us with a way of escape (1 Cor 10:13). TRUST HIM in those exact moments. Choose rather to obey Him which is usually the harder option, than to give into your desires.
There is nothing wrong with emotions, they allow us to be joyful with others, be sad with others and many other wonderful things, but don’t act on your emotions impulsively and justify it by that time of the month. Let it rather be a time to give thanks to the Lord for the gifts of self-control and the opportunity to turn to Him multiple times in one day asking for wisdom and calmness. You’ll neeed that prayer sister.
I’ll be working on that too…
Between the 25th of November and 16th of December it will be 16 Days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children here in South Africa. It is an international campaign though, so I thought I should take that time to post on abuse, physical and sexual, the statistics; share maybe one or two stories and possible ways we could deal with it as Christians.
If you would like to share your story or have any questions you would like me to address please don’t hesitate to contact me and state whether you would like to remain anonymous or not. I don’t have all the answers but I will do as much praying and research as I possibly can to make sure that post is helpful.
You can email me on: firstname.lastname@example.org